|About the Book|
Mystery, adventure, humor, romance, 76,000 words, 249 pages (print edition)From Page 8:“That’s him,” Ella May shouted and the startled man stopped dead still in his tracts. Ella May sprang up from the bushes like a fat cat. Her bent legs gave her thrust, and her large size had takedown power.She flattened him face down in the dirt next to the building.The chicken squalled and wisely flew straight up on top of the housing complex and disappeared.“He-e-l-p m-e-e!” Ella May squawked out once she discovered this man was more than she could handle by herself. It seemed he didn’t like a surprise attack by a large woman on a dark night.I ran out of the bushes with my Hell’s Fire Hot Shot pepper spray in my hand, but I couldn’t spray him without hitting Ella May. I didn’t want to do that. As for helping her fight him, no part of him was staying still long enough for me to figure out how to hit or grab hold.I heard a ripping sound and realized the man had gained his feet, but Ella May was hanging onto his pants’ waist and the baggy material tore right down the back end. The pants were almost to his knees when Ella May gave her best yank. His feet flew out from under him and he hit the dirt face down again. His head popped up as I ran toward him and accidently kicked him in the nose with my best pair of pointy-toed cowgirl boots. It hurt my big toe along with the one next to it. He seemed both stunned and blinded by the impact.Ella May was getting rather irritated by the time she gained her feet, heaving air in and out like a leaky suction pump. She grabbed the Hell’s Fire tube out of my hand and let him have it in the face.“That son of a pole cat bit me on my left boob. He’ll pay for that,” she said and aimed the pepper spray for his crotch.“Stop it,” I yelled at her. “You crazy or something? The more you spray him, the more he’ll fill the hearse full of puke and we’ll have to clean up the mess.”“You’ve got a point,” she said, stopped and handed the almost empty tube back to me. We both backed up so we would be out of the blowback range. Use that stuff once when the wind is blowing in the wrong direction and you learn a lot about blowback.By now men had heard the commotion and were coming out the door to see what was going on. They were gathering in a semi-circle around us as they watched in puzzlement.“Stay back unless you want a snoot full,” Ella May yelled as she pulled her own Hell’s Fire Hot Shot pepper spray from her pocket and held it out in front of her in a threatening manner.The men appeared to still be confused at what we were doing and not inclined to blindly rush to the aid of their comrade who was rolling on the ground digging at both his eyes with his fingers and gagging.I decided it was time to vacate the place before those men got over their surprise at seeing us. I held my breath as I grabbed our downed man by his feet and dragged him toward the hearse. He was too busy puking and raking at his eyes to put up any resistance. Ella May followed by backing up while aiming the spray tube at the men. She wasn’t about to take her eyes off the men – while the men showed no interest at all in following us. If one of their friends was being dragged off by two women armed with pepper spray, so be it.Once I had him dragged through the woods to where we had parked the hearse out of sight, I pulled out my cuffs, held my breath, and kneeled down to clamp his hands behind his back. It was then I got a look at his ears.“Oh, shit,” I let a bad word fly. “Both ears are whole. You got the wrong man.”“But the chicken.